Thursday, November 27, 2014

37. / Liar



"When I date someone, I think long term. 

What's the point of dating someone 

if you only want them temporarily?"


This is fcuking true.

So what's the point you want to date me

when you only want me temporarily?


-You lied.



Tuesday, November 25, 2014

36. / The Hobbit



The first time I watch movie with a guy. 
That's part of how special The Hobbit is. 

Then, he lay his head on my shoulder, 
I can smell him, a little. 

The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies 
Screening on 18th of December 

Did we promise each other to watch the next hobbit?
I can't remember as I don't remember. 

I wish I can watch with you, again. 
I wish you don't. 

Shall we?


-will you follow me, one last time

Friday, November 07, 2014

34. / No entry


 
My heart is hurt.

My heart is broken.

Don't step into my life,

unless you're going to treat me like a princess.

and date me to marry?

- 这一次的伤
太深了

Wednesday, November 05, 2014

33. / This is for you, love


Alright, after months, 
And I finally know the truth or the reasons. 

Do you regret doing it to me? 
If I'm not wrong, you regret. 
Now I know how you feel, 
You feel the same as how I feel, 
And you know how I feel. 
If you loved me, why'd you leave me? 
Just like what you said, I'm part of your life and you're part of mine too. 

Till then, I reply everything short, there's a reason for it, 
Because of you, 
Cause I feel that you don't even care about me anymore, 
You're not giving and doing those sweet stuff and what you did to me make me feel really really sad, 
That's why, I keep going with all the short replies, and sometimes, I don't even know what to reply, I didn't mean to be. 

I didn't care less about you, I didn't, and I always care, I care a lot and I even get jealous, friends told me you keep talking to girls at school, and I start to over think. Maybe I care just not the way you want and you can't feel it. I literally on facebook when I have classes just to chat with you. Someone said I still care bout you, but just why you can't feel it. He said I do it too obvious. But why you just can't see and feel. 

I want to go out with you, but I just don't want let my parents know about it, even the first time, I told them I went out with friends, she even asked me who, then I simply listed out few of your friends. Of course I want go out with you, who don't want go out with their partner. 

Every night, I think a lot, keep thinking if we go out, then we should do this and that, I even regret not holding hands on the first outing, keep thinking if I get my license then I will drive myself to find you or whatever. I remember once I asked you to come out, but you ignore me, and that moment I know how you feel when I keep ignore you, and since that day I know you're not into me anymore, and without all those sweet stuff, I'm pretty sure. 

Yes, everyday, I have that little hope that you will come back to me, now I know you regret doing it I don't know is it true but just, it makes me have that little hope again. But that day I post a status about come back to me, you didn't like the post and that time I lost all the hopes lol. 

I don't know, really lost now, I don't know what should I do, stay or move? I just need your one answer now. 

For once, you trusted me, and told me everything. I just knew it today. I know I can't keep promise, I break all the promises, I'm bad at that and I know it. I know always in your mind I'm a liar. 

Just want to let you know that, I love the soft kiss. I don't know do you still remember, but I just can't forgot. I miss when you lean on my shoulder. I miss you. 

I don't mind if you don't count our anniversary, I don't need you to buy me expensive things or bring me to those high class places, I don't need you to call me every night. I give you so much freedom. I sacrifice and invest so much on you but you don't feel touch. 

I'm so proud to be yours, I even told my ns friends bout you, and told them how good you are, chase me for years and etc, they were so shock cause where to find those guy who love you for such long time. 

This is how I feel, but maybe to you, you don't feel it. 

Let me refresh your memory a bit. I was the one who listened to your problems. I was the one who actually cared about you. I was the one who stuck around when everyone told me to leave. I was the one who loved you even when you gave me reasons not to. Lastly, I was the one who was there for you when no one else was. 

Because I can only be myself I front of you. 
I only tell you all these things I mean all my difficulties etc, cause I can't find any other to tell to. Just used to tell you everything, literally everything happened to me. You see I'm that friend with ky but I didn't tell her anything, not anyone except you. We almost talk or chat with each other for four years like everyday, almost. But all these, just not happen anymore since that day. I miss those moment I on just to chat with you. 
And now, I getting into you again like not going to move on, and I feel like giving a kiss and love after all the goodbyes and good night lololololol. But sometimes I over think and I thought you like the other girl and not into me anymore, maybe you did, I know I have to trust you, but idk. All your replies now makes me feel like you doesn't want to talk. And I can see that you don't care. Kay I guess I'm too 自作多情 lol. Okay, you don't care, maybe I shouldn't care, too. Maybe you do. Why am I so stupid to fall in love again to the person that will never fall for me again?

I just love you, I don't mind all your backgrounds etc, I'm in love with you not your backgrounds, you know, people stay from you cause of your attitude, but I didn't even sometimes I heard them saying your bads, for me I just don't think so. Or maybe, you're not yourself in front of me, cause I can see how you change like now, you changed a lot. I can't believe. 

Just to let you know, exactly the way I feel. 
To let you know my loves so real. 
Because I love you, I'll do anything, 
I'll give you my heart, my everything. 

Okay I'm typing this longer and longer. One day, I'll find out this and laugh at how stupid I am to do all this.

Always tell someone how you feel, because opportunities are lost in blink of an eyes, but regret can last a lifetime. 

Love is just so complicated. Or love is blind.

I'm trying to forget you but I'm also waiting for you to come back.

Saturday, November 01, 2014

32. / Friendship

When i read someone's post, about friendship,
I don't know why, it just pop out on my mind that he is talking bout you.
I can feel that.
Because i feel the same as him.
And then, at first i was just suspect that he is talking bout you,
till then, i read someone's instagram,
that she said he's talking about you, like pretty sure,

Although I don't know what happened to you guys,
but i just feel that you changed a lot a lot.
which i don't even know who are you.

I feel disappointed, really,
I almost cry, brokenhearted,
I just couldn't believe you treat your friends like this,
You don't know how your words or even just two letters can hurt someone so much.
I feel him, cause you treat me the same way,
which i really really don't understand why,
I don't know who changed you that much,
is it me? i don't know.
The old you is better than now.

Because you've changed to not you anymore,
not anymore.


- sometimes
you have to
understand that
people change.



To : pigu