54. / Secret box

Was cleaning my room table and my secret stuff box. Feel so exhausted cause too many rubbish which I don't know should I throw it or keep it. I think most of the people face this problem? 

And one thing! The best part of cleaning your room is when you find out there's money somewhere in the corner or the whole, between books or files and etc, and all of sudden you become rich hahahah. 

Alright, then I found out a diskette that was used for computer class when you're in primary school remember? We have computer class in primary school which is the fun thing. Then when the class was on, students were all playing with the computer games like the dog thingy games? Then I guess the teacher will find out who's playing games while class is on. Haha. Then there's few litmus paper in, I don't know where I get it or should I say I stole them? I don't think so la, maybe this is the balance. 

Then, there was my secondary time story, was drew by one of my friend. I think he was chasing me that time hahahaha and I remember we exchange drawings lol whoa cool hah. Then he drew a color and a mono one. Not bad sia. 

Then years ago, the entire world doesn't have all the scientific telecommunications electronic stuff like hand phone I mean SMARTphone, laptop, iPad, samsung tab etc. So there goes all these letter, new year letter, birthday, or any celebrations. Now it's hard to receive a letter from friends or maybe no. Even your friends or relatives are out of Malaysia or no they will just use email or whatsapp facebook twitter all those app. Letter is still the best. And postcard. 

Then, I attended the school for the whole 5 years without fail. Wow cooooool. So? For what? Lol useless thing lolol. One thing, they have a medal for three years full attendance but how about those who attended four years? I wonder... Then the top left was Merentas Desa event. The first time I run and I got all the checkpoint. Omgg first time haha but I didn't win la of course. You can see that all 40-50 one. 

The two photos at the bottom were papers from friends I mean we pass it to each others and wrote what we want to talk about. I miss how closed we were. The left one was wrote at tuition class I miss sitting in between abunene and Kar Yi so nice. 

This ummm…… kay what, this is given by someone? Was exchanging "what I love" to each other. I think we wanted to know each other more so we do this lol hahahaha. Still great. I think I wrote almost same thing as his. Hahah. 

Immas first dating kay hahahaha. Going to a cinema just two person whoa so nice. Kaylah memory I don't wanna talk bout it. It's a past tense. 

This is a playboy? I always thought he couldn't get a girlfriend cause he's too play-boy. That 10 reasons above only 6 out of 10 it's true hahahaha. I don't know why did he wrote sexy kind beautiful and good girl lol hahaha. BUT, now he got a girlfriend dy, they are so sweet and lovely now. AND this is a copy of what he wrote on the school desk. Then found out by one of my morning session friend. World small, small world. 

O k a y I d o n t k n o w w h y d i d I w r o t e t h i s . The font is nice I wrote it so nicely hehehe. Anyway I don't trust some of my friends cause they talk bad words at your back. I did that too but not anymore. Kinda become a little bit mature at it lol. Who don't talk bad words behind you haiyo. Don't care kay. Let them talk, cause they get jealous of what I have?

Because it's a secret box so these are few stuff that I can post. Teehee. I think I need a bigger secret box hahaha. 

No choice, I can only keep secret to myself.

53. / Kids

Its hard to start the first sentence or paragraph or first word, LOL. Went to visit my cousins, no actually my mom's cousins. We actually went there because my mom in charge of bringing a Taiwan friend to x, meanwhile we went there too. Then me and my brother followed. So we reach there and her Taiwan friend rushing to Singapore actually. My main point for this blog post are all the kids there.

So, the first day we reached, they were so shy and playing with the hula hoop, so they just past around to us, and we are like so akward, what to do. But slowly, we were like monkeys, except me kay haha.

Then went to the other cousins house, they just stay near. So I was walking around the house, cause its a design house, I mean those houses that showed on the magazine, i forgot that words for this. So I found this cute slippers, I fit in well hahaha.

And then the night, they bring us to a Korean restaurant for dinner. A pure Korean who opened this restaurant. They came here often too, cause one of their kids love Korean foods. She is so good at eating, or everything lmao.

This is a video on how she enjoy eating the korean foods, wrapping all the vegetables on a vegetable haha. So experience like.

Then, the next day, they brought us around there, we went for breakfast, a small art gallery, showroom, eat and eat, shopping mall, and eat again.

I was sitting on the bench taking photo, then this kid come and sit beside me hahaha he don't know i was taking photo then just walk there and sit. he is cute, and he is way more shy than his two sisters, he don't really talk cause he is shy. Anyway, I love this image, a lot.

Then we went to the showroom. Cause its a SHOWROOM so we were not allowed to wear shoes in, then there were these kids who purposely wear our shoes or slippers and they purposely exchange with each others so here it goes, my leg is small enough to fit in kids slippers lmao.

That Santa didn't invite me to take photo with them, okay its fine.

This is so lovely, hahahahahah i cannot.

This is the girl who stick to me all the time, most of the time. This was the first time that there is a kid who stick to me, and said "I like you so much" I almost melt ohhhhmy. She is a naughty girl, a lot pattern, and she is smart omg speaks so fluent english lol.

He is a star a hot star. Every kids stick to him all the time, ALL-THE-TIME. All the kids are so funny, and they like to 'book' my brother, wanna hold hands lah, want to sit with him in the car, and anything lah, just want to stick with him.

Then this lil girl, hit her brother, then her uncle don't let her eat ice-cream then she beg and beg her uncle, keep sorry to her uncle, but his uncle don't forgive him and punish her no ice-cream for her. Then she cry. But at last, my mom bought for her.

Next day, was supposed to back home, but they keep ask us to stay, told them that we got no clothes and they ask us to wash here lah lmao. No choice, we choose to stay one more day.

Went to a design house again, was once on the newspapers. You can see that all built using tempered glass, i mean tempered glass around, then all the trees, plants, and flower just right behind, so theres a lot mosquito. But the owner like it cause he love nature so much.

Okay, the end of the day, she pleased me to stay for ONE more day again, but I said no, then immediately she felt so sad. Then when I say bye to her, she almost cry.

I love these kids because they are so well-behaved and polite, cause some of the rich kids don't behave their self and not polite at all. kay

One more month to go then we will meet :D

52. / Sugar

Oh my God

At first I didn't click in to watch the video

Till then I saw everyone was posting this 

Then I watch and 

Damn, that's so lucky and lovely 

What if he comes mine 

Dream then. 

I wanted to post on facebook but who knows that he posted on facebook too

So I don't feel like posting again and here I go. (¬_¬) 

49. / Pray

I wanted to post since yesterday morning. But I don't know how to start. Nah, so here it goes.

The first day of 2015. It's too mainstream to say new blank page, start a new life, etc. Was thinking how to describe a new day, new year but failed. It's okay then nobody cares. (Wish that emoji can be see.)

Okay, 1st of January 2015 was a busy day. I don't know how should I say and I'm not allowed to post photos here cause it's a bit private. So I choose only two photos among all.

One last thing we could do. 

May you pray for us and protect us all the way. You will be loved. 

White: To-be-love

Red: To-get-boy

Don't misunderstand. If you really want to know what's the meaning, ask me then. 

And again, above all it was a good day, good news, not a bad news and not a bad day. 

Oh, I don't know why I felt sad on the very first minute of the first day of a new year. Maybe this would be a new year without him or a new life without him lol. I didn't receive any thing from him that's why. I'm losing a best friend of course a relationship this is the saddest part. 

A new year without him, I died a little. No more wishes anymore and how I wish I have. "I wonder are we still friends. I don't know do you feel sad, if you don't because you have so many backups and I don't have ANY! And one thing, because you don't care. I take this relationship so serious but you're just …" Maybe I'm the one that make this happen but everything have their solutions. Maybe I should think another way lol. Maybe we don't mean to be together but how I wish I can trust this sentence. These shit making me suffer, hurt and tired. HOW I WISH I DONT HAVE FEELINGS. So I won't think that much. Too many things to say to you, its endless. But maybe one day this shit will end when the day I die. Or maybe I get marry? 

And please don't say something bad about me say I'm a liar or whatever cause overall I'm super good to you and you have to appreciate haha lol. If you do you're not a gentleman at all, NOT AT ALL! I don't know when can I stop talking about you, I hope this day come fast. 

"Cause he is flirting with another girl" omg ihy. 

And I know my grammar is terrible. idc

- N E W Y E A R 

48. / The last page

This would be a long post compare to the other posts cause I'm here to summarize my twenty fourteen.

I'm a bit lazy to type long post and got no time for it and I post whatever comes on my mind so it's short and I'm trying to write prose? And no one is reading so ya. 

Alright, if you read my previous post, you knew that I got dengue once and for the first time and it's on a Chinese New Year. Here I'm to talk about all the bad stuff in the year twenty fourteen so yeah. That's the first bad things happen to me. It's okay i had dengue but just why it happened to me on a new year? Luckily we can't celebrate cny this year but no fun and bad sign mah. I just summarize it so if you want know what's going on then go to the blog post. 

Then come to the dead day for me- SPM results day. I don't know what happened to me and I just don't know. I got the worst-result-ever in my life - - I work hard for it and I plan everything earlier and I follow my time and study and in the end I get that shitty results that I didn't expect like wth. There goes a post about this but not going to mention cause I didn't really post out the main thing. I actually cry lol. 

Alright, then I got National Service like why I am so lucky this year, dengue then this and that. Okay, anyway NS is not a bad thing tho, but the first day I thought I was strong enough not to cry but I actually do you know, I only cry in the bus secretly I guess my dad knew about it. And that time a girl that's the first friend I met and she ask me not to cry and I cry even harder lol. But luciky I met few friends there and close enough to talk nonsense and they are the only one who knew I have a bf like not anymore ha-ha. And I actually came out from ns earlier cause going to continue my studies like I wish at that moment. I actually regret coming out early as staying in there is awesome that you don't have to worried about anything like you're in a holiday, a-controlled-holiday. It's not that bad tho, your schedule maintaining and I think I have a healthier life when I'm there. And no-phone-day is awesome for now, and I'm controlling myself not to open facebook and I did it but not this few days cause I'm too much on facebook this few days. 

Okay then, actually the weeks after I continue my studies I actually thoughts of changing course and now I still do. I just hate it I don't know what's the reason and I'm so blank that I don't know what I want but my mind was thinking some course what I don't know I just feel like giving up in studies which is impossible in my family. So there's a post about dream and there it goes. Not going to talk much about this cause it's super duper annoying and I hate it.

Then, this WAS the saddest moment in year twenty fourteen cause I got dump like so sad. Ha-ha-ha. But okay, maybe I don't care anymore but when I say I don't care I still care and so that's the problem. And if I cry again I cry for not holding hands you know. Now I am. You know that feeling when someone so close to you like super close to you and all of sudden that person dump you and you not even in the friend list of the person anymore, not anymore you know, that kind of feeling. I got stuck from the day onwards. And then say "I'll be there for you" all the bull shit stuff. How I am going to trust you again like I got dump by you. Cause I can't even see you when I need you, just as friend you know, but you don't. I'm going to be cruel, super cruel that you can't even believe. One thing I don't know why all the couple out there can last so long like my batch like non of them separate (not to use that words so it won't be obvious lol) are they meant to be together or not the day yet, I'm not cursing them I just wondering how they did it. You know all of them really really sweet. Instagram and twitter can know more things.

// Attempting to convince yourself that you don't care about someone is a clear indicator that you really do. //

After that, I think overall that's it. I can't remember any bad things happened, but on my mind like there's something but I just don't remember. Lol so me. I'm not going to tell any goods or it doesn't happen to me this year so ya.

Ohh, and there I allergic, omg the whole body was so itchy that you feel like cutting of your skin peel of everything. Then I thought I got 風膜 but it doesn't get better after I apply calazite lotion (hydrocortisone) and rice vinegar with ginger cause last time when I was 12 I once had but after I applied the rice vinegar with ginger it gets better but not this time. So the next day went to the doctor and he said I allergic to something - - but I don't know, he said allergic can be in many ways like foods, weather, chemicals like detergents, and fabrics. But I didn't go for further check up cause it would be suffering he said. I think I'm allergic to the weather - - cause I feel itchy when suddenly comes to hot. 

But I would like to stay on December 2014 cause it's a productive month I went traveling to few places. I just love traveling to anywhere anytime especially sitting in the car look through the window and you'll see the nature. Not going to post where did I went although I wanted to do so. But at least at the year end I know what happiness is, little happiness is more than enough.

Looking forward to Twenty Fifteen and the first of January cause it is a big-big day for me and my family. And then August, and December. If can I would like to skip the other nine months lolol. 

And one thing, the few Malaysia planes were gone. Sigh. And this year I heard a lot of bad news extremely bad news you know. Death ends a life, not a relationship.

// many things left unsaid. - Jane. //

- Chapter 12 of 12